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How do we find joy and happiness? Can we be happy all the time?
Yes, you can be happy - now - and all the time! And it is a lot easier than you might think it is... Let's start with defining happiness. Just think back to a very happy moment in your life. How did you feel? Yes, you were joyful and playful - you were laughing and smiling. You felt relaxed and confident - totally at ease with yourself - completely satisfied.
These are all common characteristics of happy people. Of course we all have different tastes and preferences in life - these are individual choices and we should respect each person's right to choose for themselves. Based upon such 'happy characteristics', I've developed a Happy Quiz that will let you find out your HQ - or Happiness Quotient. It also serves as the prologue to my book "Yes I Am Happy Now!" and can be accessed, free of charge, at http://www.The-Happy-Side.com.
Probably you already feel what's coming next: In the same way as we can define a happy person, we can identify the common mistakes that prevent us from being happy and joyful. When you feel truly happy, you can't be angry at the same time - or sad and depressed. You can't be joyful and stressed out at the same time. In your happy moment you didn't worry about the future...
In "Yes I Am Happy Now!" I defined emotions as a re-active feeling. They are based upon a fact or an event from the past, or something anticipated in the future. For example, anger or fear. In a sense, they are not real although they certainly appear to be at times. Emotions like regrets, self pity, sadness, worries, anxiety and guilt are negative in the sense that they disrupt our goal of being a happier person. We can't be really happy when we are thrown around constantly by emotions.
As mentioned before, emotions appear to be real, but once we have learned to deal with them, they won't be anymore. I don't suggest to just suppress these emotions, to put them in a little corner of our mind and lock them up. No, on the contrary. How does it work? Let's take anger as an example because it is a primetime killer of joy and happiness. The less time we spend being annoyed or outright angry, the happier we will be!
Many established experts would not agree with this; they say that expressing emotions like anger is important for a healthy balance. But anger always attracts more anger... Whenever we vent our anger we may feel relieved for a moment, but in reality, more anger has been added to all the past anger accumulated and stored deep within. And our latent anger potential can become more easily activated. The solution must be permanent and not just temporary if we want to be very happy all the time.
Of course, it is important to be assertive and have the confidence to confront people if necessary, but being emotionally involved to the point where we become all jacked up - accompanied by high blood pressure and all that - is very counter-productive. We can calmly make our points, stay centered and calm - and happy! So many people are constantly pushing and shoving around anger, guilt and blame. I call the sum total of negativity swirling around 'emotional smog'. Some people can feel it consciously and others unconsciously - nevertheless, it always produces unwanted effects. In order to stop participating actively or being affected by the anger of others, we have to first clean up all the past and stored anger within ourselves. That is not a hard thing to do although it may sound like.
Once we've succeeded, we have literally departed from - or 'checked out' of - this particular frequency or wave length of energy. Angry vibes have nothing left to resonate with... You may not reach that point right from the start but then again - why not? You can do it if your really want! This may or may not sound too 'esoteric' for you and yet, that's how it works. I've tried to cover the theoretical parts of energy matters and all its practical applications in "Yes I Am Happy Now!" (respectively http://www.The-Happy-Side.com - the editor) in an easy and fun way. But you can be the judge on that... :-)
Once you have checked out of all lower vibrating energy frequencies that disturb your joy and happiness, you will freely decide how you react to people and events, in other words, you're in charge of your life and your happiness!
Why is possible to get rid of negative conditions? Through positive thinking or affirmations? No, not at all! Positive thinking and affirmations only work for what is really real in the first place. Otherwise there's a real danger of actually ensuring more miserable experiences. The reason why it works is very simple: Feelings are totally different from emotions. They are real. Feelings are not just positive and desirable but natural to all of us! The feeling of happiness is an integral part of our innermost being. So is true love and friendship. Passion and joy. Being relaxed, calm and confident. Happiness and joy are already a part of us in the same way as water in its liquid state is wet. You don't really need techniques of any kind and you don't have to struggle to find joy, peace and happiness. All you need to do is claiming your birthright. How? The road to happiness starts with the simple but very conscious choice: "I want to be happy now!"
You may say that of course, everybody wants to be happy. This is true for most people - when they were younger... But suddenly we have become so immersed in our daily competing and fighting for our place in the sun - all of a sudden we have forgotten our goal. Then there are people who - often unconsciously - believe that life is not meant to be enjoyed, that having miserable experiences are good for 'building character' or even worse, sent by a revengeful God to be feared. Is it a surprise that these people often do have miserable experiences?
From an early age we become conditioned to all kinds of thoughts and belief systems that prevent us from being happy now. We learn that following our instincts - or intuition - is bad... instead we have to follow external authority figures, starting with parents, teachers, politicians, priests, etc... And how many times have you heard something like: "You have to work hard to make it in life"... So many people and organizations use fear and guilt - some more, some less consciously - to manipulate others... Phew; this is all tough stuff if you want to be happy and are not aware of it.
Be happy now! Don't postpone your happiness to later because tomorrow you might not be living in this dimension anymore. Plenty of hard working people suddenly collapsed in the middle of their stressful lives. The universal law of Actio=Reactio or Karma is quite clear on this too: every action is followed by a reaction; as you sow so shall you reap or, what goes around will come around. So, by leading an unhappy life now, we plant the seeds for our future unhappiness. And the logical conclusion follows, that if we are happy now, we will also be happy in the future! This is much more than just a happy and inspirational thought!
What's the conclusion? Make your happiness your very first priority in life! Nobody else can or will do that for you... And nobody will ever come to you and say "Thank you" for leading an unfulfilled and unhappy life in sacrifice for this or that (however noble) purpose...
I've been asked in a radio interview: "You're saying that the road to perfect happiness starts with making happiness your first priority in life. Are you saying that we should become egotistic and not care anymore for our family and friends?"
You probably know the answer already. Happiness is contagious too! :-) Also, in order to experience happiness as discussed in the beginning, we have to experience love - in its active and passive forms and their different flavors...
So, make your happiness your first priority, not just once but all the time and especially in times of trouble. This little step will work wonders. Immediately. If you truly desire finding joy and being happy - you're almost there already. You will be able to enjoy life a lot more right away! Amazing things will start to happen within and without - more and more often. And this is just the beginning because there is no limits to joy and happiness.
'Check out' of all that holds you back from being really happy and feeling the joy that is yours already. Let the sun dissipate all the clouds and darkness. Become aware of all your dimensions - integrate your body, mind and spirit (or soul) to the whole and happy self you really are! Many people are so involved in their daily stress and struggles - they only identify with the physical and mental aspects of their being - and they limit their enjoyment to these dimensions. They may or may not believe that they 'have' a spirit or soul. People who don't 'believe' in a soul are limiting themselves to enjoying what this world has to offer them through their physical senses - all controlled by a more or less 'superior' brain. People who identify themselves as body and mind but believe to 'have' a soul are limiting themselves too - in a different way. They have a certain advantage but haven't realized their full potential of being happy yet - for all kinds of reasons.
Please note here the difference between 'believing' and knowing? Know and fully realize all your dimensions! You don't 'have' a soul but you *are* the soul or spirit. It is you - and not something external, other than you... You are the eternal you - full of joy and happiness - and yes, you have a body and mind too! So enjoy yourself to the fullest - throughout all dimensions - not just now, but all the time. And remember, it is always now...
Here I could only touch a few points about joy and happiness, but I hope that you will feel inspired to be happy now! It is really an easy and fun-filled journey; a trip very much worth taking. If you'd like a bit of friendly assistance, I've written "Yes I Am Happy Now!" for you. You really really deserve to be happy and feel so much joy - without limits. And you can do it if you really want! These few words are the key...
How do I know? I have searched for happiness all my life, made just about every possible mistake, gone through many real highs and (perhaps too;-) many more real lows. My only little 'claim to fame' is that I never gave up on my dream - no matter what. "Yes I Am Happy Now!" (respectively http://www.The-Happy-Side.com - the editor) is the result of my search; I know that the 99 realizations do work for all of us - no matter our race or culture, religion, lifestyle or circumstances - because we are simply not all that different from each other... :-)
The last of the 99 realizations is... yes, you guessed it right: "Yes I Am Happy Now!"
Love your life - Live your life - And be happy!
Copyright 2000 Arne Klingenberg & The-Happy-Side.com
First published as a July 2000 feature article in http://www.SoulfulLiving.com
It may be freely distributed if unchanged and including this message. |
